Weanarisch Wiad Wödsproch - Viennese for Americans - A Phrase Book

Viennese for Americans - A Phrase Book

By the Committee for the Expansion and Advancement of Viennese as the Internationally Recognized World Language

Edited by Scott Rhoades


English phrases: Robin Anderson, Todd Freter, Susan Purcell, Scott Rhoades

Viennese phrases: Martin Frischherz, Christian Guertler, Wolfgang Howurek, Franz Hrazdira, Sgt. Blumenkraft


"I'm sorry. I don't speak Weanerisch."

That will be the sign of the uncultured individual in the not-so-distant future. As Viennese, or Weanerisch as the culturally sophisticated say, moves in giant steps toward becoming the internationally recognized world language, those unfortunate sould who cannot speak it will be at a great disadvantage in the work place, the bookstore, the media, and in cultural circles. The person who can't speak Weanerisch will be branded as old-fashioned (oidvadrisch) and unhip. This phrasebook is intended to keep you on the cutting edge of society, and will help guarantee that your datebook and dance card will be full well into the next century.

But what is Weanerisch, and how has it come to replace English as the world language. Well, according to E.A. Powidl, world-famous Schlawinistiker, Weanerisch is simply nothing less than the whole reason language was invented. "Everything in the realm of languages," Powidl says, "has merely been a cobblestone in the road toward the perfect language. Sanskrit, Greek, Latin, Yiddish--all of these languages were mere building blocks. Unfortunately, the world has taken a step backward in the last century by accepting the language of Great Britain, but that is all changing now. People are finally realizing that there is no language more expressive, more full of wit and charm, more perfectly suited to the Age of Communication, than the language of Vienna. And where language leads the way, culture is sure to follow."

Now, armed with this book, the American can learn the phrases that will enable him to move with the times, to keep up with the Mayers and the Hubers. Sure, there have been other phrase books, but never before has a phrasebook contained so many typically American phrases. Instead of the usual "how do you get to" phrases (although we've thrown some of those in for good measure), this book includes more typical American words and phrases, like "Where is the nearest gun shop" and "You can't talk to me like that! I'm an American, dammit!"

The lists of phrases are divided into categories. The phrases are presented in three forms. The first form contains the American phrase. The second form contains the Weanerisch phrase. The third form contains the Weanerisch phrase the way an American would pronounce it. Note that the hyphens in the third column are meant merely to help the American newcomer to the world language recognize the different parts of word and help with the prununciation; they are not meant to indicate pauses or other breaks in the speech patterns.

The phrases were compiled by a team of American and Austrian scholars. The Americans made a list of typical American phrases. The Austrians each translated the American into Weanerisch. The editor chose his favorites from each Austrian scholar, often combining the work of two or more Austrians into a single phrase. You might notice variations in spelling and pronunciation. Those millions of us who have trouble spelling even the simplest words will be relieved to learn that in our new language, spelling seldom matters--yet another reason why Weanerisch has become the world language.

So, enough of this chit-chat. Let's learn Weanerisch!

  1. Important Phrases
    Wichtige Sprichal
    Veegteega Shpreekul

    Why don't you just speakAmerican like everybody else?
    Wieso kinnt's ia Deppn net wia jeda nuamle mensch a emericen redn?
    Veeso kinnts ee-a Deppin net vee-a yay-da nwomla mensh au American rayden?

    Listen, if English was good enough for Jesus, it ought to be good enough for you clowns.
    Jiatztn pass amoi auf, waun da jesus schau inglisch gredt hot, daun is des schau laung guat gnuag fia eich, es zniachtal.
    Yetsten poss omm-moy owf, vonn da yayzooss show English graydit hot, don is diss show long goo-add gnu-og fee-a ike, es tsneeacktal.

    I'd give anything for a simple Hershey bar.
    I gebatda s'Letzte fia a Packal Manaschnittn.
    Ee gay-batta sletsta fee-a Pockul monna-shnitten

    Echt total urleiwaund!
    Eckt toe-tall oor-lye-vond!

    Gaunz ungeheua!
    Goundz oon-gay-hoy-a!

    Far out!
    Ia radikal!
    Eea radi-call!

    Whoa! Bummer.
    Total beschissn.
    Toe-tall bay-sheessin

    Good morning.
    Gun Moang.
    Gooan Mow-ong.

    Griass God!
    Grease Scott!

    Good Afternoon

    Good night.
    Guade Nocht!
    Goodie knocked!

    Save us!

    Seavas pfiati!
    Save us Fiatdee!

    Goodbye and good riddance.
    Ziag o - auf a schens Nimma Wiedasehn!
    Tsee-ug o - owf a shanes nimma veeda-zane!

    Who asked you anyway?
    Und uebahaupst, wea hot denn di eigendlich gfrogt?
    Oond ooba-howbst, vair hodd den dee eye-gunt-leek g-frogt?

    How long will it take?
    Wia laung dauatn des, bittsche?
    Vee-a loung dow-a-ton dess, bitchy?

    It won't take long will it?
    's geht eh schnoe, oda?
    Ess gate ay shnoo, owe-duh?

    What time is it?
    Wia speet issn bittscheh?
    Vee-a Shpate eessun bitchy?

    How do you say...
    Wia sogt ma bei Eich....
    Vee-a zoaked ma by ike...

    No problem.
    Nix passiert.
    Nix poss-eert

    This morning
    Heit in da fruah
    Height in da frooa

    This afternoon
    Heit Nochmittog
    Height Knock-mitt-dog

    This evening
    Heit auf d'Nocht
    Height owf duh Knocked

    At one o'clock
    Um ans
    Oom ons

    At two o'clock
    Um zwa
    Oom zva

    At three o'clock
    Um drei
    Oom dry

    At four o'clock
    Um viare

    Oom feary

    At five o'clock
    Um fuenfe
    Oom foonfy

    At six o'clock
    Um sechse
    Oom zexy

    At seven o'clock
    Um siewane
    Oom zeevunny

    At eight o'clock
    Um ocht
    Oom ockt

    At nine o'clock
    Um neine
    Oom nine-y

    At ten o'clock
    Um zehne
    Oom zany

    At eleven o'clock
    Um uefi
    Oom oofy

    At twelve o'clock
    Um zwoefi
    Oom zvoofy

    Excuse me, is this seat taken?
    Tschuidigung, sitzt do schau wea?
    Shoe-ee-de-goong, zitsd doe show vee-a?

    Catch ya later!
    Bis speda oida!
    Biss shpay-da oyda!

    Can you take our picture?
    Kennan sie uns oobuedln?
    Kinnun zee oons o-boodln?

    Give me your wallet!
    Hea mit da Marie!
    Hee-a mitt da Marie!

    No, I don't have a bird, but I have a cat.
    Na i hob kaan Vogl, i hob a fesche Kotz!
    Na, ee hobe con fogel, ee hobe a fesha coats.

    I don't care!
    Is mia do wuascht!
    Iss me-a doe voo-washed!

    Do you speak American?
    Kaunst Amerikanisch redn?
    Connst Americonish ray-dun?

    Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.
    Jetzt fia di net so auf, nua weu i scheh bin und du net!
    Yedsd fee-a dee net so owf, new-a voy ee shay bean oond dew net!

    The heck you say!
    An Bleedsinn host g'sogt!
    A blade-zinn host guh-zocked

  2. Traveling

    It is not far at all. It's only a two-hour drive.
    Des is goaned weid, nua zwa Stund mid'n Kiwe.
    Des iss go-a-ned vide, newa dsvaa shtoond midden keevee

    Excuse me, is this the hill where Julie Andrews sang at the beginning of "Sound of Music"?
    D'schuidigung. Is des des Beagl wo di Tschuli Endruhs aum aunfaung vun "te Saund of Mjusic" gsunga hot?
    Chewy dee gung. Iss dess dess bagel vo dee Chewly Endrews omm ownfong fun "De zound of music" gusunga hod?

    Where is Kaertner street?
    Heans, wo isn bitscheh di Kiaentna Strossn?
    Hanes, vo issin bitchy dee cayenntna Shtrossen?

    When is the next train/bus to...?
    Kenntns ma bittsche sogn waun de/da nexte Bim/Autobus noch ... weg foad?
    Kents muh bitchy zogun vonn dee/da nexty beam/Owtoe-booss noke ... vayg fart?

    Does this train go to...?
    Foat die Bim do noch....?
    Fart dee beam doe noke...



    When does this train/bus get to...?
    Waun foad denn der Zug/Buhs do noch ...?
    Vonn fart den dare Dsoog/booss doe noke...

    How much is that per gallon?
    Wuevi is denn des jiatzad wieda pro gellon?
    Voo-fui is den dess yetsid veeda pro gellon?

    How far is that in miles?
    Wia weit is'n des in Meun?
    Vee-a vite issin des in Moin?

    What side of the street do you drive on?
    Auf woecha Seitn von da Strossn foats den ia do?
    Owf vuka zite-n phone da shdrossen farts denn ear doe?

    Is this the road to...?
    Is des di Strossn noch...?
    Iss dess dee shrossen noke ...?

    Fill 'er up!
    foy tonken

    I would like to rent a Ford, please.
    I mechad ma an Foad ausbuang, bittsche.
    Ee meckud ma on Foe-ud ouse-bwong, bitchy

    Shut that Brat up! I'm trying to enjoy the scenery!
    Kaun des Gfrast ned de Bapm hoidn? I mechat gern de Umgebung in Ruhe geniessn!
    Con dess gufrost ne dee Boppim hoidin? Eee meckud gairn dee oom-gay-boong guh-neessen!

    So what's so special about this place?
    Heans, wos isn do so besondas doda in da Gegend?
    Hanes, voss issin doe so bay-zone-duzz doe-da in duh gay-gunned?

    We have mountains at home, too.
    Berg hauma daham a!
    Bairg how-ma da-homm ow!

    Is that a real castle, or is it a replica?
    Is des a echte Buag, oda ane von Disney Wo"ald?
    Iss dess ah eckta Boo-ugh, oh duh ah na phone Deez knee Woold?

    We've been in Austria for two days and we still haven't seen a kangaroo.
    Jietzad samma schau zwa Tog in Estarreich nd Kenguru hauma no imma ka aanzigs gseng.
    Yet-sid zomma show tsvah toag een Easter egg oond Kangaroo homma no imma caw on-sigs guhsayng.

    Are we there yet?
    Sama schau do?
    Zomma show doe?

    You should have thought of that before we left.
    Do haeds'd no dahaam d'raun denkn miassn.
    Doe heads'd no dah-homm dron daynkn me-ussn

  3. Getting Around Town
    In da Stodt umanaundstrawanzn.
    Inn duh shdot oom-on-ond-straw-von-sin

    Which way to the nearest gun store?
    Wo is denn da nexta Woffnhendla?
    Vo iss den duh nexta Vo-fun-hendla?

    Where can I park my Harley?
    Wo kaunidn do mei Hale Dewidsn aulaana?
    Vo connie-den doe my holly davidsn ow-lawn-a?

    What do you mean you only have one car?
    Wos soidn des hasn, Sie haum nua a Kraxn?
    Voss soy-den dess hoss-in, zee homm newa ah Crock-sun?

    What do you mean I can't leave my car in the handicapped parking space? I'll only be gone a minute?
    Wos moanans damid, I kaun mei Auto net aum Behindatn Parkplotz steh lossn? I brauch' jo eh nua a minutn.
    Voss mowanins damn-it, ee con my Ow-toe net owm Bay-hindottin Pockplotz shtay lossin? Ee browk yo ay newa ah mean-ooten.

    What do you mean I can't leave my car in the handicapped parking space? Bang! Bang!
    Wos is? I kaun mei Auto net aum Behindatn Parkplotz stoen? Na woat, I zag' da wia behindat I wiakli bin! wa-bum....
    Voss eess? Ee con my Owto net owm Bay-hindottin Pockplotz shtoon? Nah, vwat, ee dsogg duh veea buh-hindutt ee vee-a-klee bean! Va-boom...

    How do you get to...
    Wia kummt ma aum bestn noch...?
    Veea koomt ma owm bestun noke...?

    What kind of church is St. Stephen's Cathedral?
    Wos fia a Kiachn is'n des, das Stoeffi?
    Voss feea a Keeakin issin dess, doss shtuhfee?

    Does this city have anything worth seeing?
    Gibts do a wos Sehnswirdiges in dea Stodt?
    Geebts doe a voss sanes-vurd-ee-guess in day-a shdod?

    Geez! How many opera houses does one town need?
    Heascht, wiavue Opanheisa braucht denn a Stodt goa?
    Hay-asht, vee-foo open-hi-zuh browkt den a shdod gwa?

    Ticket? You mean I need a ticket to ride the street car?
    Foakoatn? Sogns ma ned das i a no a Koatn brauch fiad Tram?
    Foe-a-co-ott-en? Zogguns ma ned doss ee a no a co-ott-en browk fee-ud Tromm?

    This is just like New York.
    Des is genau wia in Nu Joak.
    Dess is gay-now veea in Nu Yo-uck.

    What, another museum?
    Wos, scho wieda a Museum?
    Voss, show veeda a moo-zay-oom?

    Why is everything named after Franz Joseph?
    Warum muass ollaweu da Franzl heahoidn?
    Varoom bmoo-uss oh-la-voy duh Fronds-sull hey-hoy-dun?

    Who is this Franz Joseph?
    Wea oda wos is'n da Fraunz Josef uebahaupst?
    Vay-a owe-da voss issin duh Fronds yoss-ef ee-ewe-ba-how-pst?

    Hey! Taxi!

  4. In Case of Emergency
    Inan Notfoi
    Innun note-foy

    I think my husband is dead. What are you doing tonight?
    Mei Oida is hi. Host Du heit scho wos fua?
    My oy-duh iss hee. Hosst doo height show voss foo-a?

    I have a flat.
    I hob an Bodchn.
    Ee hobe on Botch-jen.

    I ran out of gas.
    I hob kaan Schprit mea!
    Ee hobe con shprit may-a!

    I've fallen and I can't get up!
    Mi hods aufbrakd und jetz kau i nimma auf!
    Me hods owf-brockt oond yets caw i nee-muh owf!

    Please help me!

    I think my battery is dead.
    I glaub mei Battari is im Oasch.
    Ee glowb my bott-ar-ee ees im o-wash.

    Where is the hospital?
    Wo is den des Schbiteu?
    Vo is den dess Shpit-toy?

    How do you say 911 in German?
    Wia sogt ma denn nein-oefa auf Deitsch?
    Veea soaked ma denn nine-oofa owf dytsh?

    Help! Fire!
    Huefeeee! I wia zum Gruewiaschtl! Feia!
    Hoofeeee! Ee veea zoom Groy-vee-ush-tull! fye-uh!

    I locked my keys in my car.
    I hob meine Autoschlissln in meine Tschesn eigspeat.
    Ee hobe my-knee Ow-toe-shlee-suln in mine-a chase-un i-guh-shpare-t.

    I think I'm gonna hurl.
    I glaub, I muass speibn.
    Ee glowb, ee moo-uss shpy-bun.

  5. I Need A Place to Stay
    Iagndwo muass da Mensch jo schloofn, goe?
    Yiggindvo moo-us da Mensh shlo-fun, gay?

    How much for one night/week?
    Wia fue kost'n des fia a Nocht/de Wochn?
    Veea foo coastin dess feea noked/dee voke-n?

    Do you have hourly rates?
    Host Du a ahn Stundensotz?
    Hossed dew a on shtoonden zots?

    Do your rooms have cable/HBO/MTV?
    Hobn iare Zimma a Kabifeansehn/peh ti vi/em te vau?
    Hobbin ee-airy zimma a cobby-fee-un-zane/pay tee fee/em tee fow?

    Does that room have a shower?
    Hot des Zimma a Duschn?
    Hot des zimma a dooshin?

    I locked my keys in my room.
    I Trottl hob meine Schlissln ins Zimma gschpeat!
    Ee tro-tull hobe my-knee shleesuln ins zimma guh-shpait.

    No vacancy
    Nix is frei.
    Nix is fry.

    Eh kloa hom ma nu an Plohtz!
    Ay cloa homma new on plotz!

    Your place or mine?
    Gema zu Dia oda zu mia?
    Gay-ma zoo dee-a oda zoo mee-a?

    I need a place to crash.
    I brauch an Plohtz zum ausschlofn.
    Ee browk on plotz zoom owss-shloffun.

  6. Dining Out
    Ausweats futtan.
    Owsvayuts footun.

    I would like two Big Macs please.
    I mog zwa Schlabbaloppn mit Salod und an faschiatn Labal! An big mekk hoid!
    Ee mog zvah shlobba-loppin mit saw-lod oond on fuh-shee-tn lobbul! On big meck hoid!

    Waiter, I said I wanted my steak rare!
    Herr Ko"na, i hob do gsogd, das i mei Steak bluadig wu"!
    Hair coona, ee hob do g-zockt, doss ee my shtaik blood-egg voo!

    This can't be a wienerschnitzel. It doesn't look anything like a hot dog.
    Des is ka Weanaschnitzl. Des schaut aus wia a Wiaschtl im Schlabbaloppn.
    Dizzy's caw vane-uh-shnitzull. Dace shout owss veea a vee-ish-tull im shlobba-loppin.

    Do you have any root beer?
    Haums a Wuazl Bia? (Gibt's do wos zum Aunspeibn?)
    Howms a voo-uh-tsull beea? (Geebds doe voss zoom own-shpy-bun?)

    I would like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, please.
    I mechat gern a Aschantinussbutta mit Mameladebrot, bittsche.
    Ee meckutt gairn a Ash-ant-een-noose-boo-tuh mit Mom-a-lodda-brote, bitchy.

    What do you mean you don't have apple pie?
    Gens sogns ned, Sie haum kan Epl Pei?
    Gayns, zogns ned, zee homm con eppul pie?

    A strudel is not the same as a pie!
    A shtroodel is caw pie net!

    I don't have to tip the waiter, do I?
    Muas i den Koena east in Oasch treedn?
    Moo-us ee den koo-nuh ayst in o-wash tray-dun?

    Is that any good?
    Is des iagendwie guad?
    Iss dess yiggend-vee gooud?

    What does that have in it?
    Wos is denn do drin?
    Voss is denn doe drin?

    Do you have anything cheap?
    Gibts denn do a wos buellichs?
    Geebts denn doe a vos boo-licks?

    What is a "heurigen" anyway?
    Wos is denn a Heuricha uebahaupst?
    Voss iss den a hoy-rigga ooba-howpst?

    I'd like a light beer, please.
    A pseudo Bia bittscheh!
    A soodo beea bitchy!

    Gimme a Light. Bud Light.
    Gib ma wos leichts. A Budweisa!
    Geeb muh voss lykds. Uh Bood-vie-za!

    Do you have any French wine?
    Hom si an franzesischn Wei ah?
    Hom zee on fronds-o-sish-in vye ah?

    This is supposed to be a pizza?
    So des leicht goa a Bidsa sei?
    So dess liked go-uh a Bead-zuh sigh?

    Do you have any antacid?
    Haums wos fian Mogn, das i ned speim muas?
    Howms vos feeun Mow-gun, doss i ned shpime moose?

    Do you have any regular bread?
    Haums a gwendliches Brot?
    Howms a guh-vend-leek-uss Brote?

    How come there's no ice in my drink?
    Wo san denn do di Eiswuefn in mein Tringa schwimmt?
    Vo zonn denn doe dee eyes-voofin in mine Treenga shvimmt?

    I didn't order that.
    Des hob i oba ned besto"d.
    Dess hobe ee o-bah ned bay-shtood.

    Aren't you going to write it down?
    Woin's ina des net aufschreibn?
    Voins eena dess net owf-shry-bun?

    Don't order the fish. These people don't even have an ocean.
    Besto" do kan Fisch. De Leid haum do nedamoi a Mea.
    Bestoo doe con feesh. Dee Lyed howm do ned-uh-moy a may-uh.

    It tastes kinda like chicken.
    Des schmeckt do fost wia a Hendl!!!!
    Dess shmeckt doe fossed veea a hen-dull!!!!

  7. Caring for Your Body and Your Clothes
    Fia d'Eitelkeit
    Feea duh eye-tull-kite

    I need a haircut.
    I muas ma de Hoa schneidn lossn.
    Ee moo-us ma dee Whore shny-den low-sun.

    I don't need a haircut. I can still see just fine.
    I brauch do kan Pudlscheara. I sich do e no guad wias is.
    Ee browk doe con poodle-sheara. Ee seek doe ay no goo-ud vee-uss is.

    Do you have a good dandruff shampoo?
    Haums vuelleicht a guads Schupnkopfwaschmittl?
    Howms foo-liked a goo-uds Shnoopen-kopf-vosh-mittel?

    I'd like to make an appointment for a haircut.
    I mechat a Resavation fias Hoaschneidn mochn.
    Ee meckutt a Ray-zuh-fay-shun fee-uss Whore-shnyden moke-n.

    Where is the nearest laundromat?
    Wo isn do a Wa"scharei inda Na"h?
    Vo izzun doe a Vesher-eye inda nay?

    Please do not starch my collar.
    Bittschen, mein Krogn net sterkn.
    Bitchin, mine crow-gun net shdare-ken.

    Ring around the collar!
    Dreck uman Hoas herum!
    Dreck oomunn Hose hair-oom!

    I'd like a shave, please.
    Amoi rasian bitte.
    Omm-moy razz-ee-un bitta.

    Why should I shave? I'm on vacation.
    Warum soi I mi rasiern? I bin do auf Ualaub!
    Va-room soy ee me raa-zee-un? Ee bean doe owf Oo-a-lowb!

    Where can I take a shower?
    Wo kauni mi doda Duschn?
    Vo connie me doe-da dooshin?

    Where can I buy some deodorant?
    Wo kauma doda a wengal a Duftwassal kriagn?
    Vo comma doe-da a vaingal a dooft voosil kreeagen?

    Do you sell mouthwash?
    Haum sie a a Mundwossa?
    Howm zee ah a Moondvossa?

    Hey! Shoeshine!
    Hallo! Shuachputza!
    Hollow! Shoo-uck-poot-za!

    Do you have any softer toilet paper?
    Wia was midan wachan Klopapia?
    Vee voss middin vackin klo-poppy-a?

    May I squeeze your Charmin?
    Woins a bissl Charmin drauf haum? Des is so weich, dass ma's blind eakennt!
    Voyins a beesull Charmin drowf homm? Dess is so vike, doss mas bleent airkent!

    Which toothpaste would you recommend?
    Wo"che Zaunpasta dedadsmadn vuaschlogn?
    Vooka Tsonn-possed-a day-dens-ma-den fooa-shloggin?

  8. Shopping
    Goed Aussihaun
    Gudd Ow-sea-hown

    But what does it cost in real money?
    Jo wuefi kostn des mitan richtign Go"d?
    Yo voofy cost-den dess mitten rick-tiggen gewd?

    How about these?
    Wos sogst do jetzt dazua?
    Voss sockst doe yetst da-zoo-a?

    Macy's is having a sale on shoes/sofas/radios today.
    Da Hofa hot heit Schuach/Cautschs/Radios im aungebot.
    Da Hoe-fuh hot height shoo-uck/couch/roddy-os eem oun-guh-boat.

    Is it on sale?
    Is des im Aungebot?
    Is dess eem oun-guh-boat?

    When does it open?
    Waun mochtn des auf?
    Vonn moke-ten dess owf?

    What do you mean you're closed for lunch?
    Wos hastn des, do is zua ibat Mittogsstund?
    Voss hoos-tin dess, doe is tsooa ee-butt mitt-dogs-shtoond?

    What time do you close?
    Waun speansdn zua?
    Vonn shpins-din tsooa?

    How many would you like?
    Wu"fu" woansn haum?
    Voofoo vo-wuns hawm?

    What brand do you prefer?
    Wosfia Sorte hedns hoid gean?
    Voss-fee-a Zorty head-ns hoyd gayun?

    Why isn't this milk in a fridge?
    Warum isn de Mu"ch ned im Eiskostn?
    Va-room issin dee Mwook ned eem ice-cost-in?

    Can you make change?
    Kennans ma von dem ausegem?
    Kennuns ma phone dame owssy-game?

    Do you have edelweiss?
    Haums kane Edlweiss?
    Howms conna Aid-del-vice?

    Do you have a map in American?
    Haums ka Laundkoaten auf amerikanisch?
    Howms caw Lond-kwotten owf americoneesh?

    Do you take American Express?
    Nemans a de Emerikeen Espresso Koatn?
    Nay-muns ah dee American Espresso kwotton?

    Could you point me to the nearest supermarket?
    Gens wo isn do a Konsum in da Na"h?
    Gains vo issin doe a con-soom in da nay?

    Where's the mall?
    Wo isn des Kaufzentrum?
    Vo issn dess kowf-tsent-room?

    What size are those shoes in American?
    Wosfia Schuachgro"sse isndes in Amerika?
    Voss-fee-a shoe-uck-gross-uh issin-dess in Ommerika?

  9. Official Business

    How about I slip you a twenty, officer, and we forget the whole thing?
    Wia was mid zwa Hundada, Hea Inspekta, and mia vagessn des Gaunze?
    Veea voss mid zvah hoond-dud-uh, haya Eens-beg-tuh, oond meea fuggessin dess gond-za?

    How about I slip you a twenty, officer, and you don't inspect my luggage?
    Wia was mid zwa Hundada fia d'Kaffeekassa, Hea Inspekta, und Sie haum mei Geba"ck goaned gseng?
    Vee voss mid tsva hoond-dud-uh feea coffay-kossuh, haya Eens-beg-tuh, oond zee howm my guh-beck gwa-ned guh-zang?

    You mean you still only have a 386?
    Wos, Sie haum nu imma nua an 386 Rechna?
    Voss, zee howm new imma newa on dry-oaked-sex recknuh?

    You can't give me a parking ticket! I left my motor running, so I wasn't really parked.
    A Strofmandad fias foische Pakn kenansma oba wiakli ned gem! Mei Motoa is do no grennt, oiso pakd bini jo goaned gwesn.
    Ah shtroff-mon-dod feeas foy-shuh Pockin ken-uns-ma o-buh vee-uck-lee ned game! My mo-toe-uh is doe no guh-rent, oy-so pocked binny yo gwa-ned guh-vaisin.

    This house in a run-down crack neighborhood is a bargain at only $199,000.
    Des Haus in dea obakumman Gegend is a guads Gscheft fia nua drei Muelle.
    Dess House in deea o-buh-koom-un gay-gunned iss a gwoods guh-sheft feea newa dry mooluh.

    This house in a run-down crack neighborhood is a bargain at only $199,000?
    De Wohnung is so goad wia a Misthaufn und kost nua 1,990,000 Schilling?
    Dee vo-nung is so gwodd vee ah Meesed-how-fin oon cost new-a ine-million-nine-hoonut-nine-dsig shilling.

    Where can I exchange my money?
    Wo kaunidn do mei Go"d wexln?
    Vo conny-den doe my gewd veck-suln?

    Do Austrians use Marks, or what?
    Zoan de Estareicha mid Mark oda wos sunstn?
    Tso-wonn dee ess-tuh-rike-uh mid Mock oda voss suns-den?

    Check it out! A 10-Groschen coin floats!
    Heast gib da des! De 10 Groschnstickln schwimman!
    Hairst, geeb da dess! Dee zane Grow-shin-shtick-uln shvimmun!

    Honest, officer, I only had one beer.
    Oba wiakli, Hea Inspekta, i hob nua a Bia ghobt.
    Oba vee-a-klee, haya Inspektuh, ee hobe new-a ah Bee-uh goppt.

    I'd like some stamps please.
    I hedad gean a poa Briafmakn.
    Ee head-dud gain a po-wuh Bree-uf-mock-un.

  10. First Aid
    Easte Hu"fe
    Yustuh Hoo-fee


    Somebody call a doctor.
    Heans, ruafnsma glei an Dokda.
    Hanes, roof-uns-ma gly on Doke-tuh.

    Is there a doctor in the house?
    Gibds do a Dogda?
    Geeps doe a Doke-duh?

    What the hell's wrong with you?
    Heans, wos zum Deufi isn mid Ihna los?
    Hane, voss zoom doy-fee issun mid eena loce?

    Is this a good time to talk?
    Kauma iba des jetza doda plaudan?
    Kowma eeba dess yetsuh plow-dun?

    I think my leg is broken.
    I glaub i hauman Haxn brochn.
    I gloub ee howmunn Hock-sun broken.

  11. Having Fun
    A wengal a Gaudi!
    Ah vain-gal a Gowdy!

    Have you seen the latest Clint Eastwood movie?
    Heast, host den letztn Klint Istwud Fu"m gseng?
    Hairst, hossed den leads-stun Cleant Eest-vood foom guh-zang?

    Have you ever done it with cowboy boots on?
    Hostas scho amoi mid Kauboi Stuefin au gmocht?
    Hostess show omm-moy mid cowboy shtoofin ow guh-moked?

    I want my MTV.
    I wu"s EMTIWI haum.
    I vooz emm-tee-vee homm.

    It's a formal party, so wear your good jeans.
    Des is a elegante Aungelegenheit, drum ziag Deine neichn Bludschiens au.
    Daisies a elly-gonn-tay Own-guh-lay-gun-height, droom tseeug die-nuh nike-un Blood-sheens oh.

    Don't you dare say anything bad about John Wayne, man!
    Heast, sog oba nix unguads iban Dschon Ween, Du Oaschal!
    Hairst, soag oba nix oon-gwoods eeb-un Shawn Vayne, doo wosh-hole!

    Whoa! Like don't you dudes have a beach?
    Wos isn do los mid Eich, hobds Ia Burschn kan Straund ned?
    Voss issin do lowss mid ike, hops ya Bwoorshin con shtrond ned?

    Not tonight, dear, I have a headache.
    Liabling, heit is nix, i hob mei Migrene.
    Leebleeng, height is nix, ee hobe my mee-grain.

    But you had a headache last night.
    Oba du hast do gestan east Shedlweh ghobt!
    Oba doo hossed doe gestun ayust shay-dull-vay copped!

    You mean that's legal here?
    Heast, des is do zuaglossn?
    Hairst, dess is doe tswa-gloss-sun?

    Wait while I slip into something a little more comfortable.
    A Momental nua, I schlupf nua in a wengal wos bequemares.
    A moment-ull new-a, ee shloopf new-s een a vain-gal voss be-kvamer-ess.

    Do you take credit cards?
    Nemansa a Plastikkoatn dafia?
    Nay-mun-za ah Ploss-teek-kwotton dah-fya?

    Where is your baseball stadium?
    Nau wo isn Eicha Besboistadion?
    Nah, vo issin ike-a Bayz-boy-shtodd-ee-un?

    Soccer? Is that even a sport?
    Fuassboi? Is denn des a Spurt?
    Foosboy? Is den dess ah shpoort?

    Where have you been all my life?
    Heast, wo bistn Du gsteckt mei gaunzes Lem?
    Haste, vo bisstun dew ge-shteckt my gond-siss lame?

    What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?
    Was mochtn a nets Madl wia Du in a Gegend wia dea?
    Voss mock-tun a nets model vee-a dew in a gay-gunned veea deea?

    What do you mean you don't do that? I bought you dinner didn't I?
    Zeast hobi da a Buanwurscht und a Krachal kauft und jetzt wu"st nix mochn?
    Tsest hobby da ah bow-en-vwusht oond a crack-hell cowft oond yets voost nix moe-kun?

    Your place or mine?
    Gema zu Dia oda zu mia?
    Gay-muh tsoo deea oda tsoo meea?

    Have you been vaccinated?
    Bist eh gimpft, go"?
    Beest ay geempft, guh?

    Excuse me, is this an all-you-can-eat buffet?
    Entschuidign scho, oba is des a Friss wost kaunst Buefee?
    Ent-shoo-dee-gun show, oh-buh iss dess a Freess vost connst Boo-fay?

    What's your sign?
    Wos isn Dei Steanzeichn?
    Voss issun die shtane-tsike-gun?

    Would you care to dance?
    Mechast a bissl taunzn?
    Meck-cussed a beess-ull tonn-zen?

    Oh, I didn't know Austrians could ski!
    Geh gibtsn des a, Estareicha de wos Schiefoan kennan!
    Gay, geeps-sin dess ah, Esta-rike-uh dee voss shee-fwonn kennin?

  12. Talking Politics
    Ueba di Politika heaziagn!
    Yooba dee Plotikuh hya-tsyug-gun

    Those people should learn to pull themselves up by their boot straps.
    De Leid soitn afoch leana wiama si uandlich zaumreist.
    Dee lied soy-ten ah-fock layna veeamuh zee wund-leek tsomm-riced.

    People are poor because they're lazy.
    Die Leit san oam weus Owezahra san.
    Dee lite zonn oh-wumm voice Ovi-tsah-ruh zonn.

    Just leave everything alone and all our problems will take care of themselves.
    Los ollas so wias is und de gaunzn Probleme wean si scho so"ba reguen, nedwoa.
    Lowss olluss so vyuss is oond dee gond-zun Pro-blame-me vane zee show soobu ray-goon, ned-vwa.

    Don't fix what ain't broken.
    Los deine Finga fo Sochn di funktsionian.
    Lowss die-nuh Feenga foe so-kun dee foonk-she-owe-nee-un.

    Don't blame me. I voted for Reagan.
    Gib net mia d'Schuid. I hob in Regehn gwoeht, bittsche.
    Geeb net meea duh shoo-eed. Ee hob een Ray-gain guh-voot bitchy.

    Where does the Bundespresident live?
    Jo wo wohntn nocha da Bundespresident?
    Yo, vo vone-tun noke-uh duh Boon-dais-prez-ee-dent?

    Are you people allowed to vote for your president?
    Kinnds ia nu imma eichan Presidentn woehn?
    Kinneds yuh new imma ike-kun Pray-sid-hent-un voon?

  13. Them's Fighting Words!
    Di Kaumpfaunsoge

    Take it back!
    Nimm des zruck, Oida!
    Nimm dess zrook, oy-duh!

    Oh yeah?
    Na wiaklich?
    Na veeeeeeea-kleek?

    Where'd you learn how to drive?
    Wo host denn Du in Fueraschein kriagt? In da Lottarie gwunga und a ochtl Los dawischt?
    Vo hossed den dew een fwa-a-shine greeked? Een duh Low-ter-ree guh-voong oond ah oak-tull Lowss dah-veeshed?

    Hey, buzz off!
    Kumm, ziag oh!
    Koom, tsyig oh!

    Drop dead!
    Grotz oo!
    Grow-ts oh!

    Get lost!
    Schau dass'd vaschwindst bevoa wos passiat!
    Sh-how dossed fuh-shvindst be-foe-a voss posse-at.

    Take a long walk on a short pier!
    Gib da di Kugl, Oida!
    Geeb da dee koogl, oy-duh!

    Will you get that brat away from me?
    Hoits ma di Zauk vom Leib!
    Hoits ma dee Tsowk phome libe!

    Shut the %#$#* up!
    Hoid da Goschn!
    Hoyd duh go-shun!

    You can't talk to me like that! I'm an American, dammit!
    Mit MIA kaunst so net redn. Vadaumt nuamoi, I bin a Ami!
    Mitt meea consd so net ray-din. Fa-dommt new-uh-moy, ee bean a Ommy!

    No thank you. I prefer to ski in the U.S.
    Na daunkschee. I dua liaba bei di Ami schifoan!
    Nah, donkey-shay. Ee doo-uh leeba by dee Ommi shee-fwon!

    Is that your wife/husband, or did you find it buried in a shallow grave?
    Woos, de Voglscheichn is dei Oide/Oida?
    Vo-ss, dee Fogul-shike-en ees dye oyde/oyduh?

    Don't have a cow, man!
    Reg' di oh, klana!
    Rayg dee oh, clonna!

    Don't you be dis'n me, man!
    Moch ma kane trabls Zniachtal!
    Moke ma conna trobbels tsneek-tall

    Look, Marge! That's the hospital my grandfather bombed!
    Schau Oide! Des is des Schpitoi des wos mei Grossvota z'bombt hot!
    Sh-how oydy! Dess is dess shpit-toy dess voss my gross-fotta tsuh-bompt hot!